A Little Priest

That's all very well, but what we gonna do about him?

Later on when it's dark, we'll take him to some secret place and bury him

Of course we could do that

I don't 'spose he's got any relatives gonna come pokin' 'round lookin' for him

You know me

Bright ideas just poppin' to me head, and

I keep thinking...

Seems a downright shame

Shame?

Seems an awful waste

Such a nice, plump frame

What's-his-name has

Had

Has

Nor it can't be traced

Business needs a lift

Debts to be erased

Think of it as thrift

As a gift

If you get my drift, huh, no?

Seems an awful waste

I mean, with the price of meat

What it is

When you get it

If you get it

Ah!

Good, you got it!

Take, for instance, Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop!

Bus'ness never better using only pussycats and toast!

And a pussy's good for maybe six or seven at the most!

And I'm sure they can't compare as far as taste!

Mrs. Lovett, what a charming notion

Well, it does seem a waste (Eminently practical, yet appropriate as always)

Mrs. Lovett, how I've lived (It's an idea)

Without you all these years, I'll never know! (Think about it)

How delectable! (Lots of other gentlemen'll soon be coming for a shave)

Also undetectable! (Won't they? Think of all them pies!)

How choice!

How rare!

For what's the sound of the world out there?

What, Mr. Todd?

What, Mr. Todd?

What is that sound?

Those crunching noises pervading the air!

Yes, Mr. Todd!

Yes, Mr. Todd!

Yes, all around!

It's man devouring man, my dear!

And who are we to deny it in here?

These are desperate times, Mrs. Lovett

And desperate measures are called for!

Here we are! Hot from the oven!

What is that?

It's priest

Have a little priest

Is it really good?

Sir, it's too good, at least!

Then again, they don't commit sins of the flesh

So it's pretty fresh

Awful lot of fat

Only where it sat

Haven't you got poet, or something like that?

No, y'see, the trouble with poet is

How do you know it's deceased?

Try the priest!

Mmm! Hevaenly!

Not as hearty as bishop, perhaps

But then not as bland as curit, either

And good for business!

Always leaves you wantin' more

Trouble is we only get it in Sundays

Lawyer's rather nice

If it's for a price

Order something else, though, to follow

Since no one should swallow it twice!

Anything that's lean?

Well, then, if you're British and loyal

You might enjoy Royal Marine!

Anyway, it's clean

Though of course, it tastes of wherever it's been!

Is that squire, on the fire?

Mercy no, sir, look closer

You'll notice it's grocer!

Looks thicker

More like vicar!

No, it has to be grocer—

It's green!

The history of the world, my love—

Save a lot of graves

Do a lot of relatives favors!

Is those below serving those up above!

Ev'rybody shaves

So there should be plenty of flavors!

How gratifying for once to know

That those above will serve those down below!

Now let's see, we've got ... tinker?

Something pinker

Mmm, tailor?

Paler!

Potter?

Hotter!

Butler?

Subtler!

Locksmith?

Lovely bit of clark

Maybe for a lark

Then again they're sweet

If you want it cheap

And you like it dark

Try the financier

Peak of his career

That looks pretty rank

Well, he drank

It's a bank cashier

Last one really sold

Wasn't quite so old

Have you any beadle?

Next week, so I'm told

Beadle isn't bad 'til you smell it

And notice how well it's been greased

Stick to priest

Now this may be a bit stringy

Then again, it's fiddle player!

Oh, no, no, that's not fiddle player

That's piccolo player!

How can you tell?

Because — it's piping hot!

Then blow on it first!

The history of the world, my sweet

Oh, Mr. Todd

Ooh, Mr. Todd

What does it tell?

Is who gets eaten

And who gets to eat

And Mr. Todd

Too, Mr. Todd

Who gets to sell?

But fortunately it's all so clear

That everybody goes down where we fear

Since marine doesn't appeal to you

How about ... rear admiral?

Too salty!

I prefer general

With or without his privates?

With his extra!

What is that?

It's fop

Finest in the shop

Or we have some shepherd's pie peppered

With actual shepherd on top!

And I've just begun—

Here's the politician, so oily

It's served with a doily

Have one!

Put it on a bun

Well, you never know if it's going to run!

Try the friar

Fried, it's drier!

No, the clergy is really

Too coarse and too mealy!

Then actor

That's compacter!

Yes, and always arrives overdone!

I'll come again when you have judge on the menu!

Wait! True, we don't have judge yet

But we've got something you might fancy even better

What's that?

Executioner!

Have charity towards the world, my pet!

Yes, yes, I know, my love!

We'll take the customers that we can get!

High-born and low, my love!

We'll not discriminate great from small!

No, we'll serve anyone

Meaning anyone

And to anyone

At all!