Another Terrible Day

Oh, you're alive

I suppose that's good news for you

But it means a lot more paperwork for me

So don't expect me to be happy to see you

Of course, being alive is temporary

So, maybe if I go away and play pinochle for a few hours

Things might improve, for me, not for you, you'd be dead

Where am I?

Great, you haven't been debriefed

This is way out of my pay grade

Which is saying a lot cause I don't get paid

Someone find Professor Hay-For-Breath and tell him Peter Johnson is awake

So he better clip-clop over here!

It's Percy Jackson

Whatever!

Just another terrible day

At Camp Half-Blood, where everything's the worst

Just another terrible day

When you're in charge, it's like you're cursed

Well, technically I am cursed

One romp in the woods with Zeus' favorite wood nymph

And you're stuck running a summer

Camp for a bunch of needy half-bloods

Half-blood?

Yeah, half-god, half-mortal, does no one watch the orientation film?

Did you say half-god?

Yeah and I half-care

Who's next? Silena Beauregard!

Oh, great, she's crying

I was walking in the strawberry fields with Charlie Beckendorf

And we were holding hands and everything was totally normal

And then I kissed him and all of a sudden he started growing sunflowers, everywhere

Look, kid

I hate to be the one to tell you

But I think that Charlie Beckendorf was also holding hands with a nymph

That doesn't wanna wish you well

To tell you the truth, the best thing to do is to break up with the guy

'Course, who am I to give relationship advice, I'm literally the god of alcohol

But he loves me

He loves you not! Next!

Another terrible day

At Camp Half-Blood, where everything's the worst

Just another terrible day

I'm the god of wine and I'm dying of thirst

Wait, did you say you're a god?

Dionysus, god of wine? The gods are real, yippy skippy

Ah, Katie Gardner, I see you've injured your arm

I fell off a pegasus

You don't have flying lessons on Thursdays, you have archery

Those arrows are made of wood! Wood comes from trees!

I refuse to participate in any activity that encourages the senseless slaughter of our arboreal friends

Oh, gods

Give me Ares or Apollo

Anyone but the Demeter kids' cabin

Now that you blessed us

Go talk to Hephaestus

Before I take a knife to my head and start stabbing

And stay away from the pegasi!

Girls and ponies

Ah, speaking of ponies

Percy

Mr. Brunner, what are you doing here?

This guy is saying all this crazy stuff about nymphs and gods and

What is going on?

It's complicated

Oh, kid, you have no idea

About this place or your former mentor

I don't have time to fill you in on the details

But look, he's also a centaur, God!

I did mean to tell you

Another terrible day (Mr. Brunner!)

At Camp Half-Blood (you're a horse!)

Where everything's the worst, another terrible day

What is happening?

You can hate it here, but I hated it first

Just another terrible day, stuck with these runts in the muck and mud

Another terrible day, oh gods

I need a drink

Enjoy your stay at Camp Half-Blood