One Night Stand

Well, I got home this morning and everything was gone

The only thing she left me were the clothes that I got on

And yeah, we used to fuss and fight, but I never thought it'd come to this

So I did what any broke guy would do and jumped on Craigslist

I said I need a couch and a fridge and a mattress

Could ya help an old boy out if ya have it

Yeah, I need a lamp, shower curtain and a microwave

I don't need the whole table, just a TV tray

And if ya got one laying around, I'll take anything that makes a sound

'Cause she took all the records and the player too

If it works, that'll work, it ain't gotta be new

And since she's gone, I don't need one on each side of the bed

Now, I just need one-night stand

Yeah, I just need one-night stand

Well, I got a call from a guy said he just saw my ad

Said he threw his lazy-boy in the alley, so I made a mad dash

And on my way to pick it up, I got a random text from a lady

She said I just saw your post

My husband's s'posed to leave the house around eight

I thought, aww naw, this ain't good

That poor ol' girl must've misunderstood

I just need a couch and a fridge and a mattress

Could ya help an ol' boy out if ya have it

Yeah, I need some soap, shampoo and some cutlery

And man, the whole damn house could use some potpourri

If there's anything cool in your basement

Chances are, man, I got space for it

And if ya got a big mouth billy-bass, I can talk to

Man, you ought ta let me help you out

I can take it off your hands

Yeah, I just need one-night stand

Yeah, I just need one-night stand

Man, I just need all this stuff

'Cause I'm about to start my life without her

I just wish that I'd quit getting all these pop-ups

From the casual encounters

'Cause I said I need a couch and a fridge and a mattress

Could ya help an ol' boy out if ya have it

Yeah, I need a lamp, shower curtain and a microwave

I don't need the whole table, just a TV tray

And if ya got one laying around, I'll take anything that makes a sound

'Cause she took all the records and the player too

If it works, that'll work, it ain't gotta be new

And since she's gone, I don't need one on each side of the bed

Now, I just need one-night stand

Yeah, I just need one-night stand

Somewhere I can put this yellow lava lamp

Yeah, I just need one-night stand