I Know It's Today

Settle in girls, it's story time!

There's a princess in a tower, oh, my gosh, that's just like me

Poor Rapunzel needs a haircut, but the witch won't set her free

She passes time by singing like someone else I know

As years go by, she sits and waits, as years go by? Uh-oh

A torturous existence, I don't remember this part

She wishes she were dead? Skip ahead, skip ahead

But in the end, Rapunzel finds a millionaire

The prince is good at climbing and braiding golden hair

So I know, he'll appear

'Cause there are rules and there are strictures

I believe the story books I read by candlelight

My white knight and his steed

Will look just like these pictures

It won't be long now, I guarantee

Day number 23

I know it's today, I know it's today

Oh, here's a good one

It's a classic

There's a princess in a coma, glad it's her instead of me

Pretty maiden in a glass box, how I wonder, does she pee?

Blah, blah, blah, blah, poison apple, boring, boring evil queen

Filler, filler, been there, read that, seven shorties on the scene

Skip ahead, skip ahead

But in the end, the princess

Wakes up with a start

The prince is good at kissing

And melting Snow White's heart

So I know, he'll appear

And his armor will be blinding

As shining as his perfect teeth and manly hose

He'll propose on one knee

And our prenup will be binding

About time we set a wedding date

Day number 958

I know it's today, he'll show up today

There's a princess, any princess, take your pick, they're all like me

Not exactly, I'm still waiting, they're out living happily

Ever after, better get here, I want love in seconds flat

No one needs these middle bits, oops, did I do that?

Cut the villains, cut the vamping, cut this fairytale

Cut the peril and the pitfalls, cut the puppet and the whale

Cut the monsters, cut the curses, keep the intro, cut the verses

And the waiting, the waiting, the waiting, the waiting, the waiting!

But I know, he'll appear, though I seem a bit bipolar

And I'm a vandal now as well, hope he won't mind

I'm a find, I'm a catch, and a very gifted bowler

It won't be long now, I guarantee, day number-

Are you there, God?

It's me, Fiona

It's me, Fiona

Now I know, he'll appear

'Cause there are rules and there are strictures

I believe the story books I read by candlelight

My white knight, my knight and his steed

Will look just like these pictures

It won't be long now, I guarantee

Day number 23

Day number 958

Day number 8423

I know it's today, ooh

(I know it's today, I know it's today, ooh)

I know it's today, ooh

(I know it's today, I know it's today, ooh)

I know it's today, I know it's today!