15

School starts up again in about a week

Picked up my books from the library

Head full with romance and fantasy

Could it be me?

Caught eyes of one of the older guys

Ain't that the dream? Yeah I'm told it's nice

It might be love if I play it right

And I can think of

15 reasons why he

Would wanna get to know me

But daddy said "There's only one"

And it's hard times in times like these

I want someone I can please

Just let me make believe

I'll give him everything

And I did

And he wasn't even grateful

Always treated me like a goddamn plateful

He's un-phased making me unstable

I took off all of my clothes

I cried the whole way home

Still smiled at my mother

What she don't know won't hurt her

He showed me love led to damage

How can everybody stand it?

He brought me to my knees

It's hard times in times like these

♪

I live alone in a haunted house

I turned the mirrors all around

Can't stand to face what he made me now

And what's no longer

Turned my wide eyes to bloody tears

Missed out on Christmas and family cheer

I can't recall my birthday that year

But I remember

15 ways I said "No"

Asked him to let me go

I know it's all his fault

Why do I feel so wrong?

It's hard times in times like these

I wake choking on my screams

Then I tuck them in the drawer

He coulda taken more than he did

So I outta be grateful

Wouldn't ever think about it if I were able

He's unscathed while I'm unstable

Flipping all these goddamn tables

Hopeless cause he'll never know his own betrayals

I threw up on my way home

Left my shoes on his road

Still smiled at my mother

What she don't know won't hurt her

Held my girlhood door

He slammed it

Took years to understand it

Still brings me to my knees

It's hard times in times like these

He's picking fights and locks and forget me nots

And I'm counting to ten in a parking lot

I left myself in a lost and found box

Maybe in the summer I can brush the dust off

Ticking slows, am I a ghost?

He said "This is how it goes"

All I ever wanted was the prove I'm worthy

Such a high price for the way he hurt me

Couldn't ever understand

Am I really that pretty when I'm deadpan?

I curse your name when my lovers reach out

There's one thing I can't talk about

It hurts again, can't call my friends

They rolled their eyes

Said I shoulda known better

I can't live like this forever

I can't live like this forever

Gaslight myself under circumstance

"Did I make it all up? Was it really that bad?"

I can't live like this forever

I can't live like this forever

I can't live like this forever

I can't live like this forever

I can't live like this forever

I can't live like this forever

I can't live like this forever

I can't live like this forever

I can't live like this forever

I can't live like this forever

I can't live like this forever

I can't live like this forever