No Place Like London

I have sailed the world

Beheld it's wonders

From the Dardanelles

To the mountains of Peru

But there's no place like London

I feel home again

I could hear the city bells ring

What ever I would do

No there's no place like London!

Mr. Todd, sir!

You are young

Life has been kind to you

You will learn

♪

It is here we go our several ways

Farewell, Anthony

I will not soon forget the good Ship Bountiful

Nor the young man who saved my life

Alms, alms

For a miserable woman

On a miserable, chilly morning

Thank you, sir, thank you

How would you like a little muff, dear?

A little jig-jig

A little bounce-around-the-bush

Wouldn't you like to push me parsley?

It looks to me, dear, like you got plenty there to push!

Alms, alms

For a pitiful woman

What's got wandering wits, I—

Don't I know you, mister?

Must you glare at me, woman?

Off with you, off, I say!

The how would ya like to sniff me muff, mister

We'll go jig-jig

A little—

Off, I said, to the devil with you!

Alms, alms

For a desperate woman ...

Pardon me, sir, but there's no need to fear the likes of her

She was only a huff-crazed beggar woman

London's full of them

There's a hole in the world like a great black pit

And the vermin of the world inhabit it

And its morals aren't worth what a pig can spit

And it goes by the name of London

At the top of the hole sit a privileged few

Making mock of the vermin in the lower zoo

Turning beauty to filth and greed

I too have sailed the world and seen it's wonders

For the cruelty of men is as wondrous as Peru

But there's no place like London