Poor Thing

Isn't that a room up there, over the shop?

If time's are so hard, why don't you rent it out?

That should bring in something

Up there?

Oh, no one will go near it

People think it's haunted

You see, years ago something happened up there

Something not very nice

There was a barber and his wife

And he was beautiful

A proper artist with a knife

But they transported him for life

And he was beautiful

Barker, his name was

Benjamin Barker

Transported? What was his crime?

Foolishness

He had this wife, y'see

Pretty little thing

Silly little nit

Had her chance for the moon on a string

Poor thing

Poor thing

There were these two, y'see

Wanted her like mad

One of 'em a judge, t'other one his beadle!

Every day they'd nudge and they'd wheedle!

But she wouldn't budge from her needle!

Too bad

Pure thing

So they merely shipped the poor blighter off south, they did

Leavin' 'er with nothing but grief and a year-old kid!

Did she use her head even then? Oh no, God forbid!

Poor fool!

Ah, but there was worse yet to come, poor thing

Johanna

That was the baby's name, pretty little Johanna

Go on

My, you do like a good story, don't you?

Well, Beadle calls on her all polite

Poor thing

Poor thing!

The judge, he tells her is all contrite

He blames himself for her dreadful plight

She must come straight to his house tonight

Poor thing

Poor thing!

♪

Of course when she goes there, poor thing, poor thing

They're 'avin' this ball all in masks!

There's no one she knows there, poor dear, poor thing!

She wanders tormented and drinks, poor thing!

The judge has repented, she thinks, poor thing!

'Oh, where is Judge Turpin,' she asks

He was there alright

Only not so contrite!

She wasn't no match for such craft, y'see

And everyone thought it so droll

They figured she had to be daft, y'see

So all of them stood there and laughed, y'see!

Poor soul!

Poor thing!

Oh, would no one have mercy on her!

So it is you

Benjamin Barker